The sick note

Dear sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight,
and at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight,
me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray,
and I write this note to say, why Paddy's not at work to day.

While workin' on the 14th floor, some bricks I've had to clear,
now to throw them down from such a height was not a good idea,
the foreman wasn't very pleased, he beeing an awkward sod,
he said, I've had to catch them down the ladders in me hod,

Now clearing all this bricks by hand, it was so very slow,
so I hoisted up a barrel and secure the rope below,
but in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see,
that a barrel full of buildingbricks was heavier than me.

So down and I untie the rope, the barrel fell like lead,
and clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead,
well I shut up like a rocket till to mightest may I found,
that half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Well, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped,
and when I reach the top, I bang the pulley with me head,
well I clung untied though numbred shock from this almighty blow,
and the barrel spilt out half the bricks fourteen floors below.

Now, when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor,
I then outweigh the barrel and so started down once more,
still clinging tightly to the rope, I sped towards the ground,
and I landed on the broken bricks, that were all scattered round.

Well I lay there groaning on the ground, I tort I passed the worst,
when the barrel hit the pulleywheel, and then the bottom burst,
well a shower of bricks ran down on me, I hadn't got a hope,
as I lay there moaning on the ground, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel then beeing heavier, it started down once more,
and landed right across me as I lay upon the floor,
well it broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say,
that I hope you'll understand, why Paddy's not at work to day.